What a 12-step program is actually like
Plain answers about meetings, sponsors and the steps — from a decade in, not from a pamphlet.No sign-up, no pitch, nothing to buy. Just what I learned along the way.
Recent Posts
Posts from the blog exploring recovery tips, explanations, and personal experience
Why People Relapse When Things Get Good
Everybody warns you about the funeral. They warn you about the layoff, the divorce, the diagnosis, the anniversary of the thing you don’t talk about. You get told, early and often, that grief is dangerous and that you should have a number to call before you need it….
Part 1: What It was Like Working the Steps (Steps 1-3)
This part of the series explains my experience working steps 1 through 4. It started off with asking someone to be my sponsor and then following his process for working the steps, in chronological order. Steps 1 through 4 were the groundwork for helping me see my…
How I Accept The Feeling That Other People Have More Successful Sobriety
I often fall into the trap of thinking someone else has a happier sobriety than I do based on the accomplishments they have had since quitting drinking. Those could be a better job, a big family, a more attractive personality or whatever I feel I’m lacking. It’s…
Where to start
There is a lot here. These nine cover most of what people arrive looking for.
Before your first meeting
You haven’t gone yet, or you’re not sure you belong there.
- What are Twelve-Step Programs?The plain version — what the program is, where it came from, and what it isn’t.
- 8 Reasons Why AA is Not a CultThe objection almost everyone arrives with, answered point by point.
- Tips for Your First Twelve-Step MeetingWhat the room looks like, what you’ll be asked, and what you don’t have to do.
Working the steps
You’re going to meetings and want to know what the work involves.
- What to Expect When You Start the Twelve StepsWhat the process actually asks of you, before you commit to it.
- How to Choose a SponsorEight qualities worth looking for — and how to actually ask someone.
- Ultimate AA Worksheet RepositoryEvery worksheet I’ve collected for working the steps, in one place.
Staying sober
The part that lasts the rest of your life.
- Complacency in RecoveryThe comfortable stretch where you quietly stop doing the things that got you here.
- Why People Relapse When Things Get GoodEveryone warns you about the funeral. Nobody warns you about the good stretch.
- How to Build Your Sober NetworkHow to find people to call, before the day you need to call them.
Starting and sticking to a 12-step program
Getting sober is hard. Learning the ropes of a 12-step program is a lifelong process. TwelveStepping.com is a passion project to explain the program, dispel myths, and encourage open-mindedness.
Discouragement is plentiful and cheap. I hope to convey through personal experiences the truths I have found.
Read the FAQ
Start with answers to the most common questions (and detractors) about 12-step programs.
My Favorite AA talk
Clancy I. AA talk that explained the program to me in a light-hearted way